This poem has gone through two erasures. I am most pleased with the third version because it simplifies the main idea with a few concise words.
Original
On Passing Through You
your smile
the apples I eat
on a hot July day
your air
the dancing feet
in a hip hop
drop and
tangle me in you
Did I ever say that cliché phrase
I love you?
No, I just breathed you in
and ate you
and lived on you
like iced lemonade
and apples in July.
First Erasure
YOU
your
apples
a hot July
your feet
a hip hop
drop tangle
breathed
ate
lived on you
iced lemonade
apples in July
Second Erasure
YOU
breathed
ate
lived
on you
iced
apples in July
–M.Chaplin
Iced apples seem somehow the epitome of summer! (Kind of like you like fall but don’t want it to come.)
I think these types of apples would be rare; I may venture to say nonexistent, except in applesauce. The ones in the poem are the rare/nonexistent ones anyway. 🙂
But, but, but… Science! We can deconstruct this? Hahaha